I’ve decided that if I were going to name my blog or give my blog a theme, it would be centered around simplicity. And, maybe I’ll go that direction soon…maybe. I’ve been doing a lot of work in my life lately to get back to basics. I’ve been decluttering, organizing, consciously making an effort to chillax my routine at home, getting outside more, getting on the ground with my kids more, simplifying family vacations, pursuing my passions, and recently, I broke up with Facebook.
Facebook and I had a 10 year relationship with a little bit of give, but mostly a lot of take. I’m only about a week into my post breakup, but I’m already feeling the benefits being free of such a controlling, and manipulating partnership.
Now, to be fair, I still have my Yoga with Shawnee facebook page and an organization’s page that I run. I also still have Messenger. Read all the way to the end for a couple quick tips on how to keep your business pages and your messenger account with all your contacts. While I still need my business pages, it’s the personal page that started showing its true colors and lead to our final goodbye. Here are 5 reasons why I dumped Facebooks and 5 reasons I’m still glad I did.
1. Save the drama for your Mama, you trolls!
Right!?! Political drama, religious drama, family drama, friend drama, drama of friends of friends. Ugh. Now, I’m not talking about the “I’m having a bad day to day” posts. Or, the “I could use some prayer for” posts. I’m talking about bashing each other’s political choice. Posting nothing but political commentary, which by the way is usually not backed up by reliable sources. Hence the term, commentary. News (I hate the news)! News that is all negative and fear-based and makes you want to lock yourself in your house. I’m talking about the he-said she-said posts. I’m talking about that long-lost cousin who randomly decides to harass you. Oh and the trolls. Don’t forget those evil little beasties who comment their little nuggets of nastiness, just to start a fight. Yeah, that kind of drama. Facebook= Drama x100
2.) Ohhh look at me. My life is perfect.
I know life is far from perfect for anyone. I know that everyone is fighting their own battles. But, yet, somehow I still fall into the comparison trap. Comparison is a natural human response, which I believed is stemmed from fear and jealousy. Facebook has this sneaky way of making me feel as though I’m not living up to a certain standard, that I don’t have enough, that my spouse or kids are not enough. Enough is enough. It’s seems like the simple solution is to just not compare myself to others. That’s actually one of my intentional life practices. But, seeing nothing but the perfect life people portray on Facebook, makes it difficult to shake that “My life sucks” feeling.
3.) We haven’t seen or talked to each other since grade school, and I didn’t really like you then, but cool let’s be friends!
We’ve all been there, friending someone we don’t really know or when we did know them, we didn’t really like them to begin with. It happens. I have found myself stuck in this perpetual cycle of realizing I don’t want to see pictures of kids and family I don’t know. So then, to not hurt feelings, I unfollow them. But, I ask, what is even the point of being friends? OR in a sub category, is that person you know, but lately you wish you didn’t. I’ve got loads of those. Unfollow!
4.) “Beware of The Plastics.” -Janis, “Mean Girls”
I’m an introvert, so I avoid superficial conversations and interactions like the plague. Facebook is one big superficial conversation. “Realness” is not allowed. There are these unwritten rules: Can’t post too many pictures of your kids; Can’t complain; Can’t post too often. Why would I want to be a part of the biggest superficial, Plastics party of the century? I only go to parties if I know and enjoy being around the people attending. Most of the people on my friends list do not fall under this category. AWKWARD!
5.) What time is it? Oh crap, I just spent the past hour on Facebook.
I’m embarrassed to admit, I spent WAY too much time on Facebook. Most the times I wasn’t even doing anything. I just scrolled and scrolled, mindlessly looking for a post I might have missed. Or sometimes I’d read through my own posts. Weird. It’s a big time waster. I realized I was browsing usually because I was bored or tired. Life is way too short.
Those are just a few of the reasons I felt compelled to give Facebook back it’s promise ring. Maybe I’ll go back in the future, but right now I’m enjoying not being a part of it. Here are some benefits I’ve already experienced in one week’s time:
- More time. I was spending about an hour (or more each day on Facebook). I still have Instagram, but it’s much too boring to look at for too long. Time is the most beneficial reason for me to ditch Facebook. And is helping me on my path of simplicity.
- I’m not looking at my phone. We have all heard that it’s not good for kids to be on devices and it’s not good for them to see us on them too much too. I’m happy to be setting a better example for my daughters.
- No more comparison, and no more superficial/dramatic interactions. YAY!
- Something to talk about. Now that my day or “big events” aren’t posted on Facebook, I actually have some things to talk about with people. My conversations will no longer go like this: “I went and did…” “Yeah I know, I saw it on Facebook.”
- I have to be more intentional about how I curb my boredom. I find myself reading more, and playing with my girls more. And, when I’m actually tired I might relax or take a little snooze.
Now to address the elephant in the room. You too want to leave Facebook but you have business pages and would like to keep your contacts on Messenger. I hear ya! It’s a simple fix, really.
First, you should know, that you can deactivate your Facebook and it doesn’t have to be permanent. To reactivate your account after you’ve deactivated, literally all you do is sign in with your previous email. That’s it. All your friends will still be there and all your content should still be there. If you are worried about your content, there is an option under settings + general settings to download your profile content, which includes posts, videos and pictures.
For my business pages all I did was create an alias personal profile page and made myself an admin. Now when I log into Facebook as my alias name, there is nothing there except Facebook urging me to friend someone. I can still access my business pages like always.
For Messenger when you click to deactivate you will have two options: Opt out of future Facebook emails (check that) and Opt out of Messenger (don’t click that). Simple. Mine still works as if I never left Facebook. Here is a link with more info: Fed up of Facebook, but want to keep Messenger? Here’s how to do it…
Side note: I really did make some great connections on Facebook, and was sad to leave. I have friends and family who I know will also miss seeing my posts, especially those who don’t get to see my daughters on a regular basis. But, in order to simplify my life, I really felt this was the best direction. I’m so glad I took the leap!